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Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

Subject:in case you were wondering...
Time:7:58 pm.
...I have been first assistant director on a SAG Ultra Low Budget feature that is shooting until June 23rd. And I've been dating a lovely boy for over a month now. So yes. I am alive. I am just busy.
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Saturday, April 25th, 2009

Subject:yesterday on adventures of my stupid heart...
Time:8:27 pm.
... I thought everything would turn out wrong.

But it turned out so right. I'm still skeptical. But I'm smiling.
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Friday, April 24th, 2009

Time:7:02 pm.
fucking feelings. Will I be hurt again? Stay tuned.
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Saturday, April 11th, 2009

Time:6:43 pm.
i feel like no one wants to hang out anymore.
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Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Subject:another chapter.
Time:9:04 pm.
Here is I:

-Got hired to be first assistant director on a low budget indie feature shooting this June. Day job is letting me take the time off to do this. Getting paid a good chunk. The producer seems insanely cool and they're hiring a locations manager that I've been working with already for Lost in Sunshine, so all in all a good thing!

-Also meeting with another producer tomorrow night about ADing on a comedic short.

-Currently in pre-pro for a short film that I am director of photography for (I KNOW. WEIRD.)

-Editing a feature film for the same guy I'm DPing for

-Working on the Eating Chili & Showering music video

-Have written 22 pages so far for the Script Frenzy, in which I have to write at least a 100 page screenplay in 30 days. FINALLY getting Faith & Revelation done. First draft anyway. This is a fantastic way to discipline oneself into getting the first draft of anything done.

-Mr. Paul's moving to LA, which means the likeliness of us working together again in the near future just shot up by like 50%.

-been hanging out with my friend Brian a lot. He confuses me. And worries me. But having a long DUDE SERIOUS with him about some of his social issues made things between us... suddenly... awesome? I don't know. I can't even speculate anymore. He's a damn good cuddle.

-SXSW - um... what the hell can I say? it's taken me weeks to even think about posting here about it. Fireworks, tacos, drama, metal bands, chili & showering, south congress, biking, metallica at stubb's, cute boys, my ARKANSAS BOY coming out to play some shows. It was nuts but I kept myself mostly together and saw some great bands in the process.

I think I've finally hit a point where the pain of what happened re: douglas has finally been numbed to a point where its no longer controlling my fears and confidence level. I no longer feel like I don't belong in the exclusive secret society of filmmakers. It's taken me a long time and a lot of soul searching to get to this point in my life. I'm also feeling completely comfortable in this city.

I think I can call myself an Austinite now.

Boston, I'm looking at you in July. Miss you guys dearly...

signing the fuck off.
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Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

Time:10:13 pm.
my cat is lying on her back with her front paws stretched above her head and she's making chirping noises. That pretty much sums up sxsw.

but in all seriousness... movin' right along.
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Saturday, March 7th, 2009

Subject:Some things.
Time:3:14 pm.
Dallas crew is on their way from Dallas to Austin at this very minute to come hang out and chat with me about the last weekend's issues and future projects.

I've spent most of the last few days in and out of coffee shops working on budgets and script breakdown sheets.

Currently writing a theatrical trailer for the video game, Paperboy. Think if Wes Anderson made a quirky suspense thriller. I'm doing this on purpose. Also, this writes itself.

Also trying to restructure a short I'm working on about a president during nuclear winter. Oh I'm a fun sort, right?

Still can't believe this past weekend, but from the ashes arise new folks I enjoyed working with and a strengthened bond among those I have worked with in the past. I've gotten many emails of support and a phone call from the sound guy stating: "DON'T EVER TAKE $100 A DAY EVER AGAIN FOR AD WORK. THAT IS A HOBBIEST'S PAY AND YOU ARE NO HOBBIEST. THIS IS NOT A HOBBY FOR YOU. ASK FOR WHAT YOU'RE WORTH." Thank you sound guy!

Hopefully meeting with Adam tonight for a light dinner and some talk of scripts, projects, and life's miscellany. Always a good time!

Snugglefest with the shy boy last night and bad movies and REAL TALK. I love getting to know him, he's a fascinating creature, definitely has not lived a boring life, and it's amazing how the venn diagram of our lives intersect so well. I have no clue if this will go anywhere. Do I want it to go somewhere? Yes, of course. I'm a sucker for awkward, especially adorable awkward, and his redeeming qualities more than make up for the insecurities he exhibits (we all have them! God, I'm queen of this). I know he was scared before, but I'm hoping he's looking at this as a chance to get to know me and possibly give this potential thing we have another go-round when he's feeling comfortable. I'm ok with that. Hell, I'm just ok with having him in my life. It's nice to have someone who can relate to me in my social ineptitude. Even if it doesn't end up going anywhere, I will consider it a victory to not scare him the fuck away. PS - he's a total doll.

Short band practice tonight as well. Jeeeeeze, shove everything into Saturday night.

Work tomorrow. Got some projects coming up that promise some good pay with this guy Glenn. Possibly shooting some sports again. Fingers crossed.

Always working on Douglas. Always.

Just dropped off a project I was trying to edit due to serious complications with P2 footage wrapped as .mxf files and a bad directory structure that I could not change due to a previous editor's idiocy. This sucks, I feel wicked bad, the director's pissed at me, but these things happen and I don't know what else to say. I think I'm going to stay away from being hired for editing gigs for a while. The last two things I've tried to do editing wise outside of Intervention have really made me rethink any sort of love I've had for editing. I am only a cutter and nothing more and I wish that is all that is expected of me, but people want me to be a compositor and a color corrector and a sound editor and a graphics editor and a DVD masterer as well and I'm just not those things. Le sigh. I used to love editing.

What else? It's been in the 80's all week and SXSW is coming up REAL SOON.

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Saturday, February 21st, 2009

Subject:Dear LJ Lovelies,
Time:2:50 am.
For the past few weeks, I have been buried in a filmmaking contest called the Filmmaker Frenzy, sponsored by the Alamo Drafthouse Theatre in Austin, TX. This is a quarterly film contest with a different theme each time. This time around, the theme was "Pimp My TV", which is where we make fake trailers for TV shows as if they were going to be feature films.

My friend Georgia & I decided to do Intervention: the Movie. It was shot on the HVX (although you wouldn't know it through the shitty youtube encoding) and stars a bunch of our good friends.

Here it is:

And here's where you can VOTE FOR IT

And here's the credits list:

Director: Michelle Millette
Producer: Georgia Young
Writers: Georgia Young, Michelle Millette, Samantha Pitchell, James Patrick Robinson
Camera: Casey Dehlinger
Boom Mic: Brett Hamann, Brian Sullivan
Sound & Graphics: Brett Hamann

James Patrick Robinson - "Patrick"
Erin Fleming - "Lesbian Wingman"
Michael Foulk - "Angry Michael"
Georgia Young - "Gay Stepsister"
Samantha Pitchell - "Female Student #1" & Party Girl Tina
Brian Sullivan - "Pissed Off Neighbor #2"
Nolan Fellows - "The Movie Date"
Colby James Faulkner - "Fred Durst Guy"
Brett Hamann - "Guy That Drops His Fork"

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, February 9th, 2009

Subject:Rock-afire Explosion.
Time:8:53 pm.
I just watched a documentary about robots used at Showbiz Pizza as a band that performed while kids ate pizza (Showbiz Pizza was later bought out by Chuck-E-Cheese). The robots were made from 1980 to 1983 and then the plug was pulled, but there's enough of a fan culture around this robotic band that a documentary was made. One fan bought a set of these robots, costumes and all, and PROGRAMMED THEM TO PLAY ANY SONG HE WANTS.

Here is Rock-afire Explosion doing MGMT's Electric Feel:

and here's a commercial shown for Showbiz Pizza during the documentary that I TOTALLY FUCKING REMEMBER FROM 1984. They must have played this commercial for like 2 years because I was 2 when it originally aired, but I definitely remember this commercial and it's weirding me out.

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Thursday, February 5th, 2009

Subject:it's not you, it's me.
Time:11:13 pm.
While work/film stuff is going completely great, I think the move has finally gotten to me, 5/6 months later. I wish I could say I was happy, but I'm not. This is probably, in fact, the most actually depressed I've been in a long time. I could go through a list of reasons why, but they just feel like lame excuses and I don't know how to articulate it if you asked me. I feel insanely, utterly disconnected from the people I care about and I can't seem to get out of that. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't feel like I can relate to anyone anymore and the people I used to relate to have moved on. I don't have anyone I can just vent to anymore who won't roll their eyes at me, or run off and tell someone else. I feel left out and I don't know how to talk about it and I can't afford a therapist so I'm just going to sit here and hope my cat would stop fucking meowing at me from under the door.
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Saturday, January 24th, 2009

Time:6:50 pm.
I will be in NYC at the end of February to be a 1st AD on a short film with my dallas crew. They budgeted plane fare for me, are giving me some money for preproduction work upfront and I will be getting a day rate. The other part of the shoot takes place in Dallas at the end of March.

It seems everytime all my film stuff is going well, my heart gets stomped on. It's really perplexing. I know it's not me, but it's hard to think it isn't. This one is a doozy. I hate boys.
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Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

Subject:oh god
Time:9:53 pm.
add a budget top sheet to that to do list. gah.
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Subject:To Do List #38572392
Time:1:35 pm.
Yeah, I haven't been updating lately. I have a day job to pay the bills and have been editing a promo for a feature film on top of that. So I have a list of things starting to pile up:

-Bio for Jentri's grant application (I'm line producer and 1st AD on her feature film shooting next year)
-locations scheduling for Lost in Sunshine (Jentri's movie)
-Application for grant for Douglas. - not going into this further. I don't want to jinx anything. doing this over the weekend.
-Get new light for bike. Sick of duct taping the one I have on. Will check craigslist.
-clean room. yeah, we'll see when that happens
-make stills and demo from promo footage I shot two weekends ago.
-update my craigslist blog (http://www.freecouchonthecurb.blogspot.com)
-call Greg, DP for Jentri's movie, get package quotes.
-watch matt's dvd (sorry dude, I've been insanely busy and have a big editing project this month I need to get through first)

ongoing shit:
-practice bass (weekend)
-business proposal
-working on new screenplay
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Monday, December 29th, 2008

Time:5:13 pm.
The only thing I wanted for Christmas was a phone call I never received. Sigh.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Subject:aw @ life.
Time:4:22 pm.
Yesterday, my ex boyfriend from high school friended me on facebook. Well, not boyfriend per se. It was more of a dating situation but we were too far apart in age and neither of us knew what the hell we really wanted. This sounds like a pretty petty moment in my high school years, but rather, he's one of the first of several people in my life that has caused a profound change in who I am and how I look at the world.

Woah, what? Hold up.

I was a freshman in high school and he was a senior. I only noticed him because he had senior drawing the same time I had freshman drawing and the art room was only divided by a series of supply cabinets. I would see him and his ultra cool friends hanging outside the art room everyday after class before the next block began. He was fascinating to me, there was something super enigmatic about him. He was a stocky dude, tattooed, and goatee-d. He walked with a cane because he was in a terrible car accident a year or so earlier and had lost most of the feeling in his right leg. He had the warmest eyes I had ever seen and I was completely captivated by him. So much so that one day, I had to say something.

He was hanging out by the pole near the art room between blocks one day. He was by himself, I think just waiting for the next class to begin. I walked up to him in my clumsy 14/15 year old splendor and said hi. I told him I wanted to draw him. He smiled and said that would be pretty cool. The next class, the art teacher from the seniors walked over to our section of the room and asked if anyone wanted to join in on the figure drawing session they were having. We had a substitute that day so we weren't really doing much. Immediately, my hand went up and I went over to the other side where this kid, K I will call him, was the model for the day. he smiled warmly and told me he would be good on his word for letting me draw him.

After that, he would wave hi when passing me in the halls and called me "Shorty" because I was very much smaller than him. He drove a cherry red chevy impala from 1965 with black leather interior and always had the best music collection in his car. Sometimes he gave me a ride back to my house, which I always secretly delighted in.

He wasn't an idiot though and knew I had a crush on him. But he had a girlfriend and that was that. At least then it was. I still had to tell him how I felt, in that he was very much an inspiration to me (which was true, we had great creative conversations and always had this warm connection, plus I was very impressed with the way he dealt with his injury and how he had almost died.) I wrote him a letter about how he was an awesome person to me and I went to his work (he worked at the supermarket near me) and I handed it to him while he was sweeping up spilled green beans in the produce aisle. I ran out of there thinking he thought I was biggest geek ever. He never said more than thank you ("that was very sweet of you!") in regards to the letter. Later on, he asked me to take photos of him at his graduation where he had painted on his cap the date he almost died as a reminder of how fragile life was and how he had come past that. I still have that photo buried in my trunk.

Here's where the real inspiration kicks in. He had been part of the TV studio/video production program at the high school. He actually used to broadcast a really funny radio type show over the lunch menus on the educational network where he played lots of punk and indie rock and make really crude jokes (as crude as he could get away with, of course). Just before he graduated, he won a best music video award at the local high school video awards and it was then that I started to have an interest in video production.

Before this point, the only camera I had ever picked up was my friend's new fangled digital camera and a 35mm my mom had lying around, the kind where you had to wait for the light to stop blinking before taking a picture. K really liked my artwork and thought I had a good eye for movie making and suggested I should get into video production. Of course I jumped all over that my sophomore year. The rest is history on those fronts. I joined "TV Studio 1" and never looked back.

I didn't see K for nearly a year after his graduation. Then one day, while I was working to set up a three camera shoot for the yearbook signing celebration, he appeared, laughing and goofing around with the TV studio director. He saw me wrapping wires and hauling cameras and came running over to me, arms wide for a hug. it was a bit overwhelming for me, but I hadn't stopped thinking about where he was, what he was doing, even a year after we last spoke. He was especially flirtatious, but my social ineptitude at the time didn't even begin to clue in on his intentions and I merely felt he was just happy in general. He gave me his number and insisted that I should call him so we could hang out. I told him I would, but of course I didn't. I couldn't. What would I say? What would we do? All of our interactions were based on school and now he was no longer a part of that...

Fast forward a few weeks and I get an unrecognized phone number on our caller ID. I just got home from school. It was cloudy out and I wasn't feeling all that well. I changed into my PJs and was just doing some homework when the phone rang. It was him. Asking what I was up to. Pretending to be upset that I hadn't called him. He said he would pick me up in 20 minutes and we would go hang out. OMG. WTF. I could barely breathe when I hung up the phone. Everything I felt for him the previous year came rushing back. I had often hoped he would call one of these days, and there he was, calling me, taking me out for ice cream and long deep, existentialist conversations after sunset. My mom made fun of me for being out so late. I floated to bed that night wondering what the fuck was going on.

Two days later, he comes over with The Breakfast Club, we watch it on the couch with my parents asleep upstairs and by the end of the night we're snuggling and it was fucking wonderful.

We dated for a while, not a super long time, but enough so that when it ended, when he told me he wasn't interested in being in a long term relationship at that point in his life (he was, after all, about to head to college), there was a sting. But I kept quiet and I didn't let it get to me. It hurt, but it should have been way worse. I think maybe I was a bit relieved, like if we had kept going, I would have ruined everything and lost him as not only a potential lover, but a great and truly supportive friend as well. We went through a lot in our short time in dating, not like dramatic relationship shit, but rather intense milestones and moments. I was there for the first time he ever played hockey again after his accident. His mother and I cried watching him back on the ice, excited to be overcoming a really tragic event. He was there for me when I pushed myself in soccer and drawing and writing, always offering up useful critique and genuine praise. Even after we ended as a dating couple, there was never any animosity. How could there be? We didn't end because we hated each other, it just wasn't the right time in our lives, and maybe it was never meant to be. I think it's ridiculous how mature I handled that whole situation. I could have cried and screamed and begged why me and ripped up his pictures and gave him the evil eye everytime we crossed paths, but that never happened.

We hung out occasionally after that, going on trips to Boston or hanging out at bonfires in his backyard. He was my prom date and got really into being as geeky as possible - we had matching prom outfits, me in my red dress with sheer black cover and a wreath in my hair, and him with a black and red houndstooth jacket and a little red bowtie. We both worked at the same cable access job, but on different days, and occasionally we would drop by on each other's shifts and watch bad PSAs and polkatime and talk about whatever. We lost touch after I went to college. He went out to Westfield and I went to MassArt and while I would see a bunch of his friends from high school at MassArt, he never seemed to come visit.

So now here I am in 2008, very far removed from the world of Taunton, MA and all the characters within and seeing his writing on the stupid facebook wall is launching me back into all my old memories. It's funny how I'm a much stronger person now. How I'm a much more social person. How I can look him in the eyes now and not tremble or feel heartache. And yet, he's the same, for the most part. Teaching, and working at a liquor store, but still philosophical and creative and warm. And it's making me miss having him back in my life.

So I guess this entry's for him, someone who didn't destroy me or make me cry myself to sleep. If you ever want to know what brought me into filmmaking, this is the story and this is the dude.
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Thursday, December 11th, 2008

Time:11:04 am.

In 2009, jellobiafrascat resolves to...
Keep my crust clean.
Cut down on my directing.
Get back in contact with some old circus punks.
Give up drawing.
Buy new comics.
Give some massachusetts to charity.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:
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Friday, December 5th, 2008

Subject:...cautiously posting good news.
Time:7:12 pm.

This is all on the DL because everytime I post anything happy, the next day I get shat on. So let's just quietly and stealthily post this and run like hell, k?

-Katie and Mike were cleared to come home and will be coming back to the US next week. BOSTON FRIENDS: they will need lots of hugs and love after their ordeal so please please please go visit katie. She can't walk and will be bedridden for a while with a broken pelvis. Give her hugs and political diatribes for me.

-got hired for some steady shit job work. In this economy, beggars can't be choosers and I'm certainly not above working shit jobs. I'm still growing as a filmmaker and I'm getting more and more professional work as time goes by, but I'm still a youngin' and still have a way to go, so I'm ok with working a shit job to pay rent as long as I can keep building my film skills...


-I GOT HIRED AS AN ASSISTANT DIRECTOR FOR A PRETTY COOL SHORT FILM NEXT WEEKEND. I am very excited. I will be working with some decent pro and semi-pro crew and cast and the director seems like the type of guy I'd want to AD for. My next week will consist of many script breakdowns, phone calls, scheduling, and emails, but I am VERY EXCITED. I had to bike 8 miles to the southwest corridor of Austin to get this job, but goddamn it, it was worth it. And yes, there's pay involved. Not a ton, but enough.

-I am also line producing a feature film slated to shoot in 2010. I'm currently doing the script breakdown for it so I can figure out how many days of scheduling and what kinds of gear and props we will need for budgeting purposes. The script is really good and I really like the director. It's nice working on a team with an all female producing crew. Definitely excited about that one!


AUSTIN FOLKS (I know some of you read this!). The film I have been editing all month, the feature documentary about the man who went homeless for a month called Under the Bridge is having its first public screening on December 12th at Maggie May's on 6th st. It's a charity fundraiser, so it will cost ya (but you get a discount if you bring a canned good donation!) but I would love for people to come out and see it. We worked real hard on polishing it up and I'm very proud of the work that's been done on it.

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Thursday, December 4th, 2008

Time:12:13 pm.
so katie hampshire and her boyfriend are stuck in Barcelona and Katie's got a broken pelvis from falling through a roof or something and their health insurance doesn't carry overseas so Katie's not getting proper treatment and instead is being yelled at in Spanish. They had arranged them a flight back to America, but it got cancelled at the last minute and the airline won't refund them. So katie's stuck in a shitty hopsital in barcelona getting next to no treatment (apparently no pain killers and her water's being held too). WTF.


Please bring my friends back home :(
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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

Time:11:47 pm.

I'm having some serious issues with compressor and google DID NOT help at all. Basically, I export from FCP using compressor to create an encoded file using the "Best Quality - 120 Minutes) setting. My hard drive has plenty of space (62 gigs) and the project is an hour and forty five minutes. I set it to compress earlier today and it seemed like it was going fine but then it just kinda stopped compressing and sat on 01:01 left for a while and then the time left started going UP (like 01:10, 01:45) and never actually finished compressing. I need to encode and burn this wedding and it needs to be good quality. Any help? should I not export using compressor? Should I export as quicktime first and then pull that into compressor? HALP!
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Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Time:7:30 pm.
I just got the greatest set of notes from my director and producer for the homeless documentary I've been editing all month. We're getting down to the final cut (they're both really happy with my work on the doc thus far) and the notes they sent seem to be like a literal translation of their phone conference as opposed to just notes. As in, director says (in plain black type): "I like this scene here, but you left out the shot of the bridge that I like. Put it back in." and producer/guy who went homeless says (in bold italicized type): "NO! I like how she left that out. I hate that shot. Good job with this scene." and then director (now in PURPLE type): "Ok, yeah. Maybe we can discuss this Sunday."

It just turns into an argument at some point. Either way, we're almost done with this edit.


In other non-gloomtastic news, I got the bike I was hoping for (before I was laid off). It's like riding on a fucking cloud with rainbows and kittens shooting out of it. I <3 my bike. it will get me through the bad times indeed. Now that I have free time to ride around and apply for other jobs...
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LiveJournal for jellobiafrascat.

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